Research says humans and animals are born with a parenting instinct. While some parents might slip into the role of a parent without even a single wrinkle on their forehead, some have it really hard and take years to get the knack of it.
Yes, bringing up a child is one of the biggest responsibilities for the humans. Most to be parents already know this and also make out the need to discipline their children and to teach them the basic values.
However it is easier said than done. Whether you have the basic instinct of parenting or not,the main question is how you go ahead and do it? Here are some practical pointers that to be parents can use as guidelines.
- Gift your time: There can be nothing more valuable than the time a parent can devote in taking care of the child. From the early childhood to the terrible twos to the troublesome teens, the children need their parents as they surf the challenging water of each stage of their lives. At such times, the presence of the parents and hence their involvement in children’s lives can make a big difference and can be a big boon for the kids.
- Love unconditionally: It is a well-known fact that in order to keep every relationship strong and growing, one should invest some time and nurture it with lots of love and care. The same is true for your relationship with your children. When you bond with your child on a one-to-one level and listen to them, no matter what else you are doing, you are reinforcing the belief that he/she matters to you, you love her and care for her. Good communication doesn’t happen overnight. It takes lot of patience, some good old love and little bit of daily devotion to build a bridge of two way communication with your child but in the end, it is worth it. A parent should Love their children in such a way that the child can open his/her heart to the parentsanytime That would save you both from big troubles when they grow up.
- Lead by example: Haven’t you heard that children learn more from the way we behave than the advice we give them? It is no wonder; theyoung children stay with their parents and observe them each minute of the day. How the parents talk with their spouses, neighbors, friends, colleagues, relatives and others leave a huge impact on their delicate minds. If you don’t want your children to speak foul language, or your daughters to wear immodest dresses or your sons to play violent mobile games, then do one thing. Become their role model and you too follow the same. Preach what you actually follow in the real life and then see how they will follow your morals and principles.
- Appreciate the positive behavior: Many parents just focus on the negative behavior of their children. However that is a wrong way to discipline the child. Instead of reprimanding the child about his/her bad behavior, a parent should pay attention to the good traits and encourage positive behavior by praising the children and acknowledging them for the things they do. Whether it is a small task of watering the house plants, cleaning the dining table or helping to vacuum the mess they made – none of these tasks are negligible for kids and handing over a simple compliment can work wonder on their gentle minds.
- Let the children make their own mistakes and learn from that: This seems like a small thing but actually it is not. So many parents today feel that what they have gone through and suffered, their children should not. As a result, the parents become overprotective and take each and every decision in their child’s life. However this is not a very good idea. By shielding the kids from the realities, as a parent, you are actually not letting them develop skills to cope up in today’s world. Instead, it is a wise thing to grant them a permission to make their own decision. In fact, while taking any decision, the parents should involve their children and ask for their input and then listen to their point of view. As far as the kids are not in any danger, one should let them take small decisions and learn from it.
- Discipline them but with love: Many authoritative parents have strict rules about what to do and what not to! They hardly give their children any choices and demand that the kids follow the set rules under any circumstances. However, this might rob your children from a way to learn on their own. It is a good idea to let them make decisions on their own and then face the music of their own actions from time to time. This way, the children will learn to bear the responsibility of the consequences of their actions. If a parent wants to discipline his/her child, it should be done wisely, not in the heat of the moment of the anger when the parent’sown self-control has lapsed. In case, if a parent wants to punish the child, he/she should lay out the punishment firmly and follow it, they should not take it back when they have cooled down. Instead, one should explain to the child what he/she has done wrong and why he/she should face the result of their action now.
- Be proud of even the small achievements: At times, it’s good to tell the kids that you are proud of them. Eventhoughas a parent you may feel this from inside, you don’t word your feelings and it’s not good. After hearing the compliment, the kids feel that their parents care for them and notice every little thing they do or achieve. This simple act of appropriate praise boosts the child’s self-esteem and helps him/her to be confident during trying times.
The list goes on and on. And this is not all and one list. There are many things that one can apply to his/her parenting style. Also each child is different and what works for one might not work for others.