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WHY PARENTS MUST AVOID BOSSING THEIR KIDS?

“The Child is the Father of Man” by William Wordsworth

Child and lack of self esteem

Love is the basic human emotion that children belonging to all caste, creed, and religion crave for. However, in today’s world it has been observed that kid’s are very often bossed  by their parents .Unfortunately, it is this “bullying” attitude adopted by many parents that severely effects the overall development of a child’s growth. There are many ways in which unbecoming behaviour by parents towards their children can harm them forever especially mentally. So, here is presenting a few facts that will explain in dept as to why parents must avoid “Bossing” their kids at all costs.

a. Bossing by parents results in lack of self-esteem within a child:

It is true that one needs to inculcate good habits and discipline in a child from a very young age. However, in doing so parents must realize that “showing the way” and not “enforcing” will have a positive effect on children. Because if parents act as “enforcers” it would eventually lead to a child developing a low “self-esteem”, particularly if carried out over a period of time. It is this lack of esteem then that will prevent a child from developing into a confident young individual, which in turn will directly have an impact on kid’s future. Thus, if parents intend to prevent lack of “self esteem” seeping into their children then they must completely avoid the tactic of “Bossing”.

b. Bossing around could result in a child losing respect for his parents:

“Respect” is a emotion that must exist between parents and children. However, these days sadly many parents (possessing good intentions) tend to “boss” over their children in order to instill discipline and good habits. Unfortunately, they do not realize that by consistently “Bossing”  their kids they risk losing respect. In fact, it is a “fine balance” between being “tough” and “soft” with children depending on the situation that will eventually prove to be an effective parenting strategy. More importantly, this balancing act helps in the maintenance of respect between a parent and child.

c.Subliminal forms of Bossing could lead to child developing an understanding for a negative concept like a bribe:  

“No dessert unless you eat your brocoli” is a type of comment that we commonly hear parents make in order to get their children submit to their wishes. Although, there lies no bad intention  beneath such statements made by parents, it inadvertently hints towards encouraging a bribe. In other words, such comments basically send a “subliminal” message to the child that, giving or accepting a bribe is not a bad act. Furthermore, this kind of comment also indirectly hints at a “master and slave” kind of relationship. And so, such statements when used on a consistent basis could cause a child to develop a feeling of “bitterness” towards the parents. It is therefore essential that parents stay away from subliminal form of “Bossing”, if they want to avoid concepts such as a “bribe” and strong emotions such as “resentment”  affecting the way their children think in life.

And so, if you really intend to groom your child into a well rounded and confident individual, then it is important that you learn the art of behaving more as a “parent” and less as a “boss”.

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